Romantic comedies circa the year 2000 always had the same theme: anything you ultimately loved started off as something you hated. Despised. Full on triggers.
But somehow, through this lens of being forced to be with someone/something you hate…say, a big bookstore selling cheap books…you learn that the thing you despised wasn’t what you despised at all, but rather an untapped part of yourself, that you disowned, through your own blindness and fidelity to whatever identity you were holding onto.
These movies were shadow work, in a consumable, barely-skimmed-the-surface form. Huh.
Now, here, as we are oh-so-close to Libra season — the best season — we have to talk about balance. Have to. Balance is a word that means so many different things to different people. I’ve heard people talk about balance over a year or many years instead of balance over a day or week, for example. Or balance means 3 vacations a year and not 2. Personal preference, context, all of that always play such a huge role in determining what balance means.
That cake was in honor of me, but not for my birthday. My confirmation, actually, not in Libra season. But it was my cake, so we are taking some liberties here, forgive me :)
For Kathleen Kelley in You’ve Got Mail, her balance was getting away from Greg Kinnear’s activist pompous journalist Frank Navasky, and towards Tom Hanks’ witty, charming, and very rich Joe Fox. Independent vs. commercial. That was enough balance for them, because they both still loved the smell of freshly sharpened pencils.
In real life, though, that balance is much more complicated. And personal. And not so clear cut as independent bookstore vs. big box store, and then happily ever after. Honestly, the second I think I’ve got this balance thing down, something changes, and the balance becomes unbalanced. The only choice then is to work to re-balance.
Maybe that’s the way I can think of it from now on. I’m not seeking balance. I’m in a period of rebalancing. Kind of like Paulie in the Godfather, telling his accomplice to leave everything behind but “take the cannoli.” I can rebalance like that!
Love always,
Lauren
P.S. Thank you so much for streaming WALLS!! I love this track so much, and I know you will too!
